Computer Geek
My WiiFit has recently stopped heckling me when I step on it. The self-imposed fat arse picture embargo has been lifted.

This is this point at which I'd normally consider myself "done." I'd embrace my average bod, and breathe a sigh of relief to be able to stop focusing on food and numbers and cardio and all the things I begrudgingly force myself to do when I go on a weight loss kick. Normally I would, but something is different this time. Unlike every other time I've lost weight (only to get pregnant or sick or stressed or injured and eventually gain it back), I'm not content. In fact, I don't ever want to BE content again. I don't want to settle for "you look great for having 2 kids." I want, "Holy shit you've got kids?" and even once I get that I won't be done. I've set realistic goals for myself and when I reach them, I just create new ones. Right now my end goal is to do a handstand pushup because I enjoy stupid human party tricks.

As for diet and exercise, I've embraced my tastes and tendencies instead of working against them and settled on a bastardized version of keto/paleo with a dash of intermittent fasting. I'm still tweaking it, but I basically eat lots of healthy fats, protein, and veggies with a few fruits and veggies while avoiding high carb foods except on special occasions. I counted calories in the beginning to get my meals/portions down but I'm starting to let go of that. I also eat larger meals less often instead of small, frequent meals like "they" say you should eat. So now I sometimes have two average meals a day, and other times I skip breakfast and lunch and just have an epic dinner. This works well for me. The best part - I've done ZERO cardio this time... I HATE cardio and never thought I could lose/maintain without it. But this has been entirely through diet (I'd say 80%) and a little strength training (total gym, dumbbells, bodyweight exercises). I've pretty much just ignored everything I've ever heard about losing weight and it's somehow miraculous working. People everywhere stop and ask me how I did it and I try to explain but "high fat, huge meals, and no sweating" just doesn't seem logical.

I'm down... wait for it... 40 effin pounds in the last 6 months and back in a healthy weight range. At 5'1" that's a LOT. I'm starting to up the strength training now and aiming to lose 15 more lbs and hit the bottom end of a healthy weight range, then up the strength training and calories, put on some muscle, and get back my girly six pack from many many moons ago.

I intend to weigh myself on a regular basis for the rest of my life and nip that shit in the bud when the scale starts to creep back up. I don't believe it will though, because the changes I've made suit me well and seem effortless at this point.

So yeah. Fuck yeah. I'm feelin pretty full of win right now.

It's good to be home.

Computer Geek
Sooo... the last few months.

The school year ended as it tends to do and Mike came home for a while. During that time he unfortunately came down with some strange heart problems and numerous allergic reactions. We spent the next month in and out of the ER, Cardiologists, and GI specialists. They originally thought it was pericarditis but we never pinned down the problem for certain. After weeks of getting his meds and diet sorted, the pains eventually went away and we gave up. He seems to be doing ok now. He's back at work in Chicago.

On his way out he dropped Sierra and I off at Penn Station for our 12 hour train ride to South Carolina. It was a tough goodbye and a loooong ride but we got there eventually. It's always so strange to be back in the old house. It's like a time capsule. Everything is right where we left it. Morgan's old room still has my little ponies and a Lizzie Mcguire poster on the wall. While we were there several old friends stopped over for some drinks and laughs. It was great to see everyone. We also took a trip to Six Flags over GA. Tim's friend showed up with cheater exit passes so we didn't have to wait in any lines. Sierra is a roller coaster riding machine.

I'm back in Baltimore now and things have settled down. Mike's in Chicago for at least the next month or two. I miss him terribly, but it's nice to be back home with the girls. We've had a pretty lazy few days lounging around, playing video games, watching Netflix, and getting organized before school starts in a month. I can't believe Morgan is about to start high school!

Now that I'm back, I've got a lot of household projects in the works. I'm redoing the girls bedroom and I need to paint all the things, but I've been procrastinating. I'm also planning a Minecraft birthday party for Sierra which is proving to be a bit of a fun challenge.

As for the quest to get back my girly six pack, well I haven't lost any more weight during the summer chaos and traveling but I didn't gain any either so I call that a win. I'm down about 30lbs total with light at the end of the tunnel. I'm determined to surpass my pre-baby body. Some say it's not possible. Pffft, I say. I got this.

I has willpower.

Computer Geek
3 posts in a week? Think I just broke my 5 year record.

After two weeks in ketosis, I had a cheat day last Sunday afternoon to reboot the keto. My sisters came over for sushi and wine. It was lovely. I really need to get together with them more often. I totally dug the Sex in the City round table discussion.

I haven't looked at a carb sideways since. My meals consist of something like an epic omelette for breakfast, a bad ass salad for lunch, grilled chicken with veggies for dinner, and a few low carb snacks during the day. I'm drinking nothing but water, using my total gym, and I've started violently swinging dumbbells around like I know what I'm doing. I'm down over 15 lbs in about 3 weeks (I'm 5'1. That's a LOT) and I just bought some new lingerie. Woo Woo.

High School, boys, and a girly six pack.

Computer Geek
So after nearly a year of pushing her to even apply, my brilliant teenage Morgan (I have a teenager????) recently got accepted into the literary arts program for a fantastic arts and technology magnet school. She will be in the first class to attend the brand spanking new 70 million dollar building which opens next school year. I suspect she's going to have an absolutely amazing high school experience. I'm so proud of her, and I'm incredibly excited about being involved in this school for the next 4 (possibly 8) years.

My baby Sierra just got her little heart broken by a boy for the first time. Tonight we drown her sorrows in minecraft and chocolate chip cookies. I think she'll make it.

Mike's job is going incredibly well. Finances are great but he's so stressed out and he's gone all the time. It's difficult. We haven't even had time to discuss wedding plans yet. At this point we're not sure if we're going to go all out on a big wedding next year or perhaps elope sometime soon. I vote the ice hotel in Sweden.

I've been filled with a sudden desire to get into kick ass physical shape. I'm so hardcore right now. I'm a naughty redhead again and I dropped 13lbs in the last 2 weeks. Keto is my friend and I'm about to start lifting. I demand to see my girly six pack again. My end goal is to fit back into my prom dress. Let's do this shit.

10 month recap

Happy Pills
My last post was in November. Hmm. Let's see. I went on a trip to Vegas in December. In January I sprained my ankle and it never fully healed. A few months later Mike got an opportunity of a lifetime job as a robotics programmer and, over the course of a week, dropped out of college, moved all his shit into my place, and left for Michigan. He came back for a visit with hearts in his eyes and diamonds in his pockets, then left again. I said yes. He'll be gone for most of the next year or two. We still haven't figured out how this will work. Feesh got married this summer. My sister is getting married next month. I lost 15 lbs. I'm currently in the process of selling a shitload of antique guns even though I hate guns. I dunno how that happened. Earthquake from the 19th floor last month was exciting. I honestly thought I was about to plummet to my death and my only thought was "well this is going to suck." Fortunately, I lived long enough for the hurricane to flood my apartment a few days later and destroy my floors. Sierra just turned 9. She's hilarious, awesome, and really making up for what a shitty baby she was. Morgan is almost 13 and has a terrible case of the angsty teens. She's really making up for what an awesome baby she was. Any day now, I highly expect her to walk in smelling like weed and telling me to fuck off when I say "how was your day?" I love her.

Life is pretty good.

The Power of Reggae

Katamari
The 0:35 mark.... I can't stop laughing.

Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear

Team Fear
So I finally took a look at my pictures from the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear last Saturday. What a day!

too many picsCollapse )

I've been to quite a few large events, but I've never seen anything like this and doubt I ever will again. The atmosphere was fantastic. Everyone was so funny and friendly. It was like a few hundred thousand inside jokes. Here is an unbelievable satellite image of the chaos. We set a new Metro record.

In an attempt to beat the mad rush home, we decided to duck out early before the Rally even ended. It was a good decision. But while waiting for the train in the main station, I was about 12 inches from the edge of the platform and every time someone sneezed I was sure I was going onto the tracks. Fear successfully restored.

Dear Life. Stop being a dick. K thx.

Pain
When I was 19, I went back to my high school to pick something up. I had Morgan with me. She was about 6 months old. As I was walking down the hallway, my favorite teacher passed me, chuckled, and said, "Hey J.P.! Do you have life right now or does it have you?" I didn't answer. I just smirked and rolled my eyes.

I've never forgotten those words. In fact, I've probably reposted this story half a dozen times in the near decade I've kept an on again off again journal. Today is one of those days where the words flashed through my mind again.

Everything is so chaotic lately and I've been overwhelmed and off balance for quite a while now. Sometimes I feel like I'm playing tug-o-war for control of my life. I'm not sure who is on the other end. Perhaps it's life itself. That bastard is pretty strong.

Maybe if I just let go of the rope he'll fall and bust his ass. That would be awesome.

September update

Team Fear
Wow, it's been 6 weeks since I updated?

DragonCon flew by way too fast. I planned on making a huge post so I could remember it all but as usual I ljfail. My energy wasn't back to 100% and I really overdid it with the not sleeping and not taking my iron supplements thing so I had a few rough patches but overall it was fantastic. I can't wait til next year! Already planning it. I saw so many familiar faces I've dearly missed, and I loved getting to spend some time once again with lucifera_shadow and mrs__smith. Them bitches is crazy.



Back to school has kept me busy and my place was attacked by a plague of cooties that had Morgan out of school for a week but things are getting back to normal again, or as close to normal as they ever get.

Halloween is coming up. Sierra is going to be Lady Gaga in the bubble dress. LOL. I just ordered all the clear plastic balls to make the costume. It should be hysterical. I'm going to be a chick version of Chucky. Might even dye my hair back to red like I've been threatening for months. That seemed to work out well for me. I'd like to try to once again be referred to as an exotic red head in a court of law.

On Oct 30th, I'm going to the Rally to Restore Sanity / March to Keep Fear Alive in D.C. I'm SO EFFIN EXCITED about it!!! I watch Stewart and Colbert almost every night and I literally squee'd when I heard the announcement. As of today on the FB event page there are 179 thousand attending and 98 thousand maybe's. And my favorite online community (the one that keeps me from having time for LJ anymore) is having their first meetup there after the rally. There really are no words to describe my excitement over this. My frustration over the bullshit media scare tactics has been growing for quite some time and I've been fed up with the WingNuts for more years than I can recall. I'm opting for a slogan shirt instead of a sign but I haven't found "the one" yet. CAN'T WAIT!!! This is going to be epic. EPIC!

End of Summer

Happy Pills
I can't believe kids go back to school in a couple weeks! The summer has really flown by! And I have to say, it was a great one. Morgan has spent quite a bit of time over her dad's. She says she enjoys the little sister free zone, so it's mostly been just me and Sierra. We've kept busy at the pool, with playdates, and/or poking our noses into local events. We've had quite a few laughs, and the trip to SC was way more fun than I'd expected. When Sierra isn't here, I've been having friends over for more epic nights on the balcony with some festive adult beverages. Several good friends have also had birthdays this summer. The one a week and a half ago resulted in the drunkest I've ever been in my life. It was spectacular. I can't tell you how quickly I rushed to untag myself in those facebook pics.

I even enjoyed school shopping this year. I hit up all the clearance racks and 50% off sales at the mall yesterday. Sierra is going into 3rd grade and can finally fit in clothes from Justice (previously Limited Too). Dressing her like a little punk princess makes me squee. Morgan is going into 7th grade and has begged me not to buy any more cutesy clothes with monkeys on them. She's officially in Junior sizes now so though it pained me, I went and got her a few things from Aeropostale like she requested because unfortunately she is one of those girls. She's going to be embarrassed to be seen in public with me and Sierra any day now but I love her anyway. She's almost as tall as me and we wear the same size shoes. Effin weird.

Perhaps it's my iron levels finally getting back to normal, or maybe I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired, but I'm in such a great mood all the time lately and my energy level is, comparatively, through the roof. I've been working on taking off the chubbly wubbly. I'm down 10 lbs but refuse to admit how much more I have to lose. Being exhausted the past year was a terrible decision.

Booked my flight for DragonCon last week. It's been 5 years since I've gone. I'm so excited!

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Computer Geek
jewe1z
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